Nu har jag ett riktigt dilemma! Jag har gillat en viss kille på våran skola - vi kan kalla honom Joakim - i snart fem månader nu, men aldrig vågat säga något då jag är så rädd för att han inte ska tycka om mig med. Men problemet är att han går ut i år och jag vet inte om jag kommer se honom igen, så därför har jag en idé. Många ska sjunga på avslutningen och då funderar jag på att sjunga en låt till honom. Låten skulle då vara "One and Only" med Adele, för den låten beskriver verkligen hur jag känner och vad jag vill. Men frågan är om jag vågar, och om jag vågar; vad ska jag göra? Ska jag säga att den är till honom eller ska jag bara sjunga låten och låta det bli ett privat avsked enbart för mig? Just nu har jag ingen aning. Har ni lust att hjälpa mig att bestämma så får ni gärna lämna en kommentar eller mejla. 

Vill verkligen inte att han ska gå ut i år. Önskar att jag hade haft ett år till på mig, för vi har precis börjar lära känna varandra. Suck. Vad ska jag göra? 

Jeez! Är dödstrött och har ont precis överallt efter en häktisk dag. Har ringt sponsorer hela förmiddagen och tränat på Soarén hela eftermiddagen, + att jag har ridit och gått hem ( tog lite mer än 30 minuter ) i stekande hetta, dirket solsken och en jävligt tung ryggsäck. Skulle egentligen upp och träna mer nu efter maten, men jag orkar inte. Har sträckt lårmuskeln också, så jag ska vila upp mig så att jag är på topp imorgon. 

Hinner kanske skriva lite senare om jag inte somnar först. 

The days passed in a blur. We trained some more self-defense, but Alec never grabbed my waist or held me in his arms like he’d done the first time. At first I thought that it was just a coincidence, but then I noticed that there were times when he let me get away, just so he didn’t have to grab me. I couldn’t help but to feel offended, was there something wrong with me? Why did he let me win? But then a small, careful thought sneaked in to my head and confused me. What if he had felt something as well, that first day of training? What if that was the reason why he never touched me anymore? The thought of it made me scared, but I never showed it. I tried to focus on other things, like reading or trying on clothes. But Alec was always in the back of my mind. Something else that always lingered around me was my thirst. I still refused to drink any human blood, which led to that I was left with no blood at all. Luckily, I could survive on human food as well. It didn’t taste as good as blood, but it kept my stomach satisfied and Alec annoyed. But after a week the change was starting to show. Without drinking blood on regular bases my body started to become more and more human. My skin was still hard as marble, but my speed and strength weakened and it didn’t take much for Alec to beat me when we trained - not that it had in the first place. I supposed that Aro found out about it after a while because suddenly Felix came and got me from my room.

“Aro sends for you”, he said and held out one hand to escort me to the Volturi tower. I swallowed loudly and rose from the chair next to the beautiful mahogany desk. It took longer for us to walk to the Volturi tower this time than what it had done the last time. If Felix thought that I was slow, he didn’t show it. He just walked beside me with a glassy look on his face. Just like before, we took an elevator up to the main floor and walked from there. As we rounded the corner that led to the tower my fluttering heart skipped a beat. What did Aro want from me? I million thoughts ran through my head in the blink of an eye. Did he have news about my family, or had I done something wrong? Was he not pleased with my training? I stopped thinking as we came in to sight. The three brothers were seated as usual in the velvet thrones in the middle of the circular room. This time Aro didn’t rise when he saw me, he just tilted his head and gave me a concerning look.

“Dear, dear Renesmee”, Aro sighed and shook his head slowly. “A little bird whispered in my ear and gave me some news about you. He says that you refuse to drink human blood.”  The guards in the room gave me a questioning look when they heard their Masters words. The only one who didn’t even turn his head was Alec. I hadn’t noticed him until now, but when I saw him, the butterflies returned one by one. When I dared to glance at him, he met my gaze and held it for what seemed like hours. The sound of someone clearing his throat made me look away.

“That’s correct”, I said and turned to Aro. “It’s the way I was raised and I don’t find it right to kill innocent people.” Aro pursed his lips and wrinkled his eyebrows, but didn’t say anything. I held my breath and waited for his response. But there was none. Caius started to become impatient and looked at his brother before he spoke.

“Where are your thoughts, Aro?” He said and put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. Aro patted Caius hand and rose from his throne.

“My thoughts, dear brother, my thoughts surround our beloved Renesmee. She’s getting weaker, can’t you see?” Aro pointed at me to clarify his point. I felt pretty uncomfortable when everybody followed Aro’s hand and looked at me with their fiery red eyes. To take the attention of my face, I stroked my arm and looked down. Without looking, I could sense – and hear – Aro walking across the room until he stood right in front of me. His cold fingers lifted my chin gently and I was suddenly looking in to the milky lenses of the old vampire.

“How about a compromise?” he said in his tenor voice. My eyes widened in surprise. A compromise, what did he mean? Aro must have seen my expression because he laughed a little before he explained.

“You won’t drink human blood, because you don’t want to kill innocent people…”

“Any people”, I interrupted and received some disliking looks, but Aro didn’t mind.

“Of course”, He said and nodded. “But no Volturi member is allowed to drink animal blood. So my suggestion dear Renesmee is that you drink human blood from blood bags – donated of course. That way you will have the strength and speed that you need, and you won’t go against you’re principals. How does that sound?” At first I didn’t know what to say. Did I really want to drink human blood at all? I’d drunk it when I was a baby, but that had only been for a few weeks. For a second it was completely quiet, the only thing you could hear were the even breaths from the guards and my fluttering heart. Aro looked eagerly at me, waiting for me to speak. And when I did, his expression got satisfied.

“Well, I suppose it’s okay if no one dies.” Aro clapped his hands in delight and waved at one of the guards. In the blink of an eye the guard was at his side.

“Yes, Master?” the woman said and bowed her head.

“Dear Ophelia, would you be so kind and go to the nearest hospital and get us some blood?” Aro put a hand on Ophelia’s shoulder and smiled at her. I was once more disgusted by the guard’s affection for their Masters. Couldn’t they at least try to hide it?

“Of course, Master”, Ophelia said and curtsied a little before she disapeared. I imagined myself standing there, in front of the three Volturi brothers, clothed in a dark coat, curtsying and bowing my head to them. The thought made me wrinkle my nose and feel a bit nauseous.

“The blood will be placed in the refrigerator in your room. I hope you’ll get stronger soon, dear Renesmee”, Aro said before he walked back to his chair. As soon as Aro was seated, Felix walked over to my side and escorted me out of the tower. Back on the main floor, Alec caught up to us. With only a look he got Felix to nod a goodbye to me and then disappear in the blink of an eye. As soon as Felix was gone, the butterflies came back. I wanted to ask Alec what he was doing here, why Felix couldn’t escort me to my room? But I didn’t dare to speak, afraid that I would say something stupid. When we reached the tunnels Alec broke the silence.

“I’m glad you’re agreed to drink the blood”, he said without looking at me. I almost stopped at the surprise of his words.

“You are?” I asked and glanced at him from the corner of my eye.

“Yes”, he said – still without looking at me. “You’ll get stronger and faster, which you’ll need when you’re out on missions.”

“Missions?”

“Well, of course. What do you think your position in the Volturi guard is? You’re placed with me, Jane, Felix, Demetri and Santiago. We’re the ones who’s often send out when someone has broken a law.” Alec’s words made me numb and speechless. But at the same time, a small piece of me was happy over the fact that I was going to work with Alec. I quickly pushed the thought away and focused on the important things. Like the fact that I was going to be on missions.

“Why? I’m not strong or have any special powers. I can only let people read my thoughts and show them pictures.” I didn’t get any of this. What use was I as a fighter when any untrained vampire could beat me without even trying? Alec looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

“You’re almost human; you can investigate humans without scaring them to death.” Alec looked at me like I was a total retard before he opened the door to my room. I hadn’t realized that we’d gone so far, so fast. Talking to Alec made time go so much faster. I didn’t answer him; I just nodded and stepped inside my room. At first I didn’t know what to do, but then I saw the midnight blue cover of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. I quickly ran to the bookcase and took the book from its place on the shelf. The golden letters glowed a little in the light from the lamp. I’d expected Alec to be gone, but when I sat down on the bed to read my book, I saw him standing in the door, leaned against its frame. When he saw that I was watching him, he took a step forward and closed the door.

“Are you staying?” I asked him and rested my head against the wall near the head of the bed. Alec nodded and the shadow of a smile played on his lips.

“I have nowhere else to go”, he said and sat down on the chair next to my desk. In my opinion, he was way too close for me to concentrate on the book, but he didn’t look like he was about to move any time soon. 

I tried to read for about thirty minutes before I closed the book and put it on my nightstand. Alec had studied me the whole time – the main reason that I couldn’t concentrate on my reading – and didn’t stop when I met his gaze. I wished that I could force him to leave, but I didn’t even dare to speak. For a while, we just sat there; three feet from each other, looking deep into the other persons eyes. When my heart started to beat faster I looked away. What was wrong with me? I wasn’t supposed to get butterflies every time he was near and my heart wasn’t supposed to beat faster when he looked at me.  What about Jacob, my dear, sweet Jacob? What about the fact that Alec was a cruel killer who drank human blood and killed anyone as long as his Master said it was okay? That’s not the guy I wanted to fall in love with. I wanted to fall in love with someone like Jacob. But Jacob had left, just like the rest of my family. Maybe this was my family now, a bunch of power crazy lunatics.  

“Is something bothering you?” Alec said and broke my concentration. I hadn’t realized that I’d been looking – or staring – at him while I’d been lost in my own thoughts.

“No, I’m just sleepy”, I said and faked a yawn. Alec nodded leaned forward. At first I thought that he was going to kiss me, but of course he didn’t. He just grabbed my book from the nightstand and then leaned back again.

“Maybe you should sleep then.” Alec smiled a crooked smile at me before he opened the book and started to read it. Still chocked from the thought of him kissing me, I managed to nod lightly and stumble towards the bathroom. I thought that I could hear Alec cluck from his chair, but I wasn’t sure. When I heard the bathroom door close behind me, I sighed in relief and leaned my head against the sink.

“What’s wrong with you?” I mouthed to myself and banged my head in the sink a few times before started to make myself ready for bed. It took longer than usual for me to change into PJs and braid my hair, mostly because I wanted to clear my head – which was absolutely impossible when Alec was around and in sight. Sadly, I could only drag my feet behind for so long. After almost an hour in the bathroom, I slowly opened the door and walked over to my bed. I deeply regretted that I’d chosen shorts instead of sweatpants to the bottom of my PJs. Luckily, Alec didn’t seem to notice me until I was safe and sound in my bed.

“Are you going to stay here?” I asked and hoped that his answered would be a no. Alec looked like he found me amusing somehow and raised one eyebrow.

“Do you want me to leave?” My jaw dropped about a feet when I heard his answer to my question. What did you answer to that? Yes, please do? Even though his presents made me uncomfortable, I didn’t want to be rude. I slowly shook my head and looked down at my hands.

“You can stay if you want to”, I whispered and realized how pathetic I sounded. Alec seemed to agree with me, ‘cause he choked a laughter a cough.

“Good night, Alec”, I said and turned my back to him. Once I lay in a comfortable position, I closed my eyes and fell asleep to the hope of that he’d be gone in the morning. 

 

Har hittat en låt som jag bara ÄLSKAR! Blir på riktigt skrivar humör, så ni kan kanske räkna med kapitel fyra innan torsdag.

Låten heter Soldier och är sjungen av Gavin DeGraw. Vill ni lyssna på låten finns den här:
http://youtu.be/2TuyT0knklM

 

 

Blir så frustrerad på min mamma! Vaknar upp och blir bemött av ett bitch humör som jag inte gjort ett skit för att förtjäna. Nu har hon förstört hela dagen, så någon skrivning blir det inte. Vet inte om jag hinner med ett nytt kapitel tills i morgon heller, hade hunnit om inte mamma förstört hela jävla morgonen. Blir sååååååååååå arg! Ska i alla fall rida idag, håller tummarna för att det går bra.

Ska sätta mig ner och skriva nu efter en lång dag. Kanske hinner jag få ut två kapitel denna vecka för att gottgöra att kapitel 3 blev släppt så sent, men I make no promises. Ska i alla fall skriva en stund nu och se vad det blir av de idéerna som jag skrev ner igår. Har du kanske något förslag på vad som kan hända? Kommentera eller mejla till [email protected]

Bjuder även på en somrig bild som jag tog här om dagen.

"What do you mean when you say that you’re going to be here for a while?" I was seated on the bed and starred down at my hands. Alec was leaned against the wall and I could feel his cold gaze. Even though his eyes were so fiery red, the emotion in them was cold as ice. When I shyly looked up and met his gaze I saw a little smile on his lips. The smile was very innocent but at the same time it reminded me of Felix’s mischievous grin.
"It's standard for every new Volturi member, really. I'm here to train you in self-defense and in manners, for example; looking someone in the eye when you're having a conversation.” I winced at his words but looked up and held his gaze. It was hard not to tremble at the sight of him, but I refused to show myself weak. Alec was silent for a while and I realized that he was waiting for me to speak.
"Um, self-defense?" I asked and gave him a questioning look. Alec nodded once and took a step forward. He threw a punch in the air to show his point. I winced once more and automatically leaned back. The little smile on his lips grew bigger and in the blink of an eye he was at my bedside. His speed didn't scare me - I'd grown up with vampires and werewolves – speed was normal to me.
"But first, a surprise", Alec did a sweeping gesture against the door at the same time as it opened. The first thing I saw was Felix’s black mop of hair. For a second or two I thought he was alone, but then I heard the beating of someones heart. A girl who couldn't be older than fifteen walked through the door with trembling legs. Her eyes were almost popping out of her head and she looked absolutely terrified.
"Who's that?" I said nodding in the girl's direction. Both Alec and Felix smiled a little and Felix pushed the girl in my direction.
"Your dinner", Felix answered and his smile turned into a grin. Now it was my eyes that almost popped out of my head.
"My dinner?" I hissed and automatically crossed my arms over my chest. Alec grabbed the girl and dragged her across the room until she was standing right in front of me.
"No member of the Volturi is allowed to drink anything other than human blood. It's either the girl or the tourists in the tower." The ultimatum made me sick and I shook my head.
"I rather starve." Alec's eyes narrowed and he baled his fists. Felix mostly looked shocked by my refuse. Before, I'd just been scared but now I was furious. Did they really expect me to change my diet and my view of life?

No one said a word for a few minutes, the only sound in the room came from the human girl who was sobbing loudly. As the time passed Alec lost his poker face and you could see his anger more clearly for every second. My anger increased as well and I copied Alec by balling my fists so hard that my knuckles lost all its color, still with my arms crossed over my chest. I thought Felix looked uncomfortable but I wasn't quite sure, though I refused to look away from Alec's fiery gaze. It was like a contest; the one who looked away first lost. And I was not going to lose this game.
"Fine", Alec said and broke the silence. First I thought that he was going to let the girl go and we'd all forget this, but I should have known that Alec never lost a game. In less than a second he moved the girl so she stood in front of him. She let out a terrified gasp that developed in to a horrified scream when Alec sank his teeth into her pale skin. The dark red blood poured out of the wound and colored both her skin and her clothes. Alec looked me in the eye the whole time as he drained her of blood. When there was no blood left in her system he dropped her on the floor and took a step back. Now it was my turn to scream. I stared horrified at the drained corps and started to hyperventilate.
"What did you do?" I gasped and fell down on my knees. The young girl's eyes stared emptily into the cold air. Even though I didn't want to touch her, I leaned forward and closed her eyes. Her skin was already cold and I could smell the death lingering around her.
“She didn’t deserve to die”, I whispered. Salty tears started streaming down my face and I covered it in my hands so they wouldn’t see my sorrow. The floor creaked as Felix took a step forward. I believe that Alec stopped him from getting closer though no more steps were heard.
“She would have died sooner or later, this time it just came sooner”, Alec said and I could hear him shrug. His words made me furious and I looked up at him with as much hate as I could presume. Once again he met my gaze and the contest started. This time I looked away first, biting my lip to hold back the words who tickled my tongue. But my teeth could not hold back my anger for long.
“You disgust me.” I quickly got on my feet and ran against the bathroom. I didn’t want to face either Alec or Felix right now. But before I reached the door, Alec grabbed my arm and threw across the room. I landed softly on the bed but was a little chocked by the quick turn of event. Alec made a hand gesture at Felix and he grabbed the corps and was gone in the blink of an eye. The only evidence of that the body had been there in the first place was a pile of dark blood.
“Now it’s time for the first self-defense class; always be prepared.” The shadow of a smile played on Alec’s lips and he leaned forward, ready to attack. My uncle Emmett and my Jacob had taught me the basics of fighting and self-defense, but I was pretty sure Alec knew more than me. Normally the thought of my family would make me weak of sorrow and heart ache, but now my self-preservation was stronger. In the blink of an eye I was on my feet, ready to face the danger ahead. I knew I was slower and weaker than any vampire but I wouldn’t let my doubt get in the way.

Alec lunged forward and tried to grab me. I answered with moving slightly to the left and then I ran towards the bathroom door once more. Just like before, Alec catched up with me and grabbed my waist. His cold arms pressed me tight against his chest and my heart started to beat faster. Sadly, it didn’t race just because of the fear I felt, the butterflies in my stomach was back and they were the biggest reason of my hearts quick pounding. For a split second we both froze, and I could feel his grip changing from an aggressive grip to a soft embrace. I relaxed and leaned against him, feeling safe, until I remembered what he’d just done and who he was. Quickly, I took advantage of the situation and crawled out of his arms and raced for the bathroom door. He didn’t catch me this time. I could see him standing at the exact same spot – frozen – gazing into emptiness with his arms in the air, like he was still holding me. He didn’t seem to move as I shut the door behind me and locked it quickly. For a few seconds I stood close to the door, listening for his footsteps, but I couldn’t hear them. Slowly I walked backwards until I hit the wall. When I felt the cool tiles pressing against my back and I fell down on my knees and closed my eyes. I leaned my head against the wall and sighed loudly. What had just happened? One second he was attacking me - forcing me to fight - and the next he had me in his arms, making my already fluttering heart beat even faster. The butterflies still haunted my stomach and I hated it. The feelings that started to grow in my heart shouldn’t be there, they belonged to someone else. They belonged to my Jacob. Except Jacob had left me, and Alec was right here. I tried not to think about anything, I just let my thoughts drift away. They drifted to Forks, the green, wet forest and the big Cullen House with the grand piano where my father and my aunt Rosalie used to play. I could play a bit as well, but I was more interested in the violin. When my thoughts drifted to close to my family I changed course and thought about the feeling of swimming fast in the river a sunny afternoon. The water that embraced my body and made me light as a feather, my muscles working hard as I swim against the stream, the sun giving my skin a light glow, that’s what I focused on. Somewhere in the middle of it all, I fell asleep.

 

 

För inte så länge sedan fick jag ett mejl ifrån en tjej som frågade mig om jag kunde ge henne lite tips på hur man skriver och hur man orkar hålla igång sitt skrivande. Blev jätteglad över detta och tänkte därför lägga ut lite grundläggande skrivar tips till alla er skrivgalna där ute. Skulle ni vilja ha fler skriv tips eller kanske en feedback på en text är det bara att mejla till [email protected] så läser och hjälper jag er gärna. Vill även ha in en massa boktips som jag kan läsa och sedan göra en recension på här.

 

Detta var några skrivar tips, hoppas de hjälpte. Vill du som sagt ha mer skrivhjälp eller få feedback på något du har skrivit är det bara att mejla [email protected]

Förlåt för min inaktivitet men jag har faktiskt haft mycket att göra. Mellan tisdag och onsdag var jag iväg med mitt trygghetsråd till ett trevligt litet ställe i Ed där vi kampade mitt ute i skogen utan intrernet eller el. Sedan har jag pluggat SO, NO och matte då vi har SO inlämning i morgon och NO prov nästa vecka och matteprov veckan därpå. Men nu ska jag vara aktiv på bloggen igen, I promise. Det kommer både en sneakpeak på kaptiel 3 och lite skrivtips. Snart kommer hela Kapitel 3 av Beneath the facade ut, hoppas ni gillar det. Men för att ni inte ska tappa intresset kommer nu en liten sneakpeak av kaptilet.

 

"Who's that?" I said nodding in the girl's direction. Both Alec and Felix smiled a little and Felix pushed the girl in my direction.

"Your dinner", Felix answered and his smile turned into a grin. Now it was my eyes who almost popped out of my head.

"My dinner?" I hissed and automatically crossed my arms over my chest. Alec grabbed the girl and dragged her across the room until she was standing right in front of me."

Ash är en askungen inspirirad saga som handlar om en ung flicka som heter Aisling. När både henne föräldrar dör får hon bo hos sin styvmor och sina två styvsystrar. När hennes far har lämnat efter sig en stor skuld till staten tvingas Aisling jobba som tjänarinna till sin nya familj. Men en natt träffar hon på Sidhean, en av de mäktiga älvorna som färdas i de djupa skogarna. Under lång tid träffas Sidhean och Aisling i skogen och de blir allt mer fästa vid varnandra. Men en dag träffar Aisling Kaisa, en mäktig kvinna som arbetar som kungens jägare. När känslorna för både Kaisa och Sidhean finns i Aislings hjärta, vad gör hon då?

 

 

Personligen tycker jag att denna boken var bra skriven, men jag gillade inte slutet. Efter som jag inte är homsexuell själv har jag väldigt svårt att sätta mig in i de känslor som Aisling får för Kaisa. Jag tycker att boken försämrades regält när det blev en kärleks triangel mellan två kvinnor och en man. Speciellt då det inte är mannen som måste välja, utan en av kvinnorna. Har absolut inget emot homosexuallitet eller liknande, men då jag som sgat inte kan sätta mig in i känslorna som huvudpersonen får blev boken mycket dålig. Första delen av boken är precis i min smak och jag älskade att läsa den. Men när en dominant kvinna kommer in i bilden och blir något som liknar huvudpersonens älskare, tappar jag direkt suget att läsa vidare.

Förutom relationerna var boken mycket bra och författaren hade ett bra berättar språk. Dock förstördes hela boken av relationerna i den.

 

Ash får 2/5 stjärnor och rekomenderas till de som föredrar att läsa om kvinnliga kärleksrelationer. För resten av er blir den nog en besvikelse. 

 

 

har precis gjort klart boksöverdraget till Beneath the facade, är riktigt nöjd. Vad tycker ni?

”Kommer du ihåg när vi gifte oss?” frågar jag och ser på dig. Du ser på mig över läsglasögonen och ler lite, sedan nickar du. Jag ler tillbaka, men fortsätter prata.

”Jag var livrädd för dig, du var så tystlåten och dyster. Kommer du ihåg det?” Jag fortsätter utan att vänta på bekräftelse. ”Du bar mig aldrig över tröskeln på vår bröllopsnatt, jag var tacksam för det. Vi kände knappt varandra då. När vi gick tillsängs den kvällen bankade mitt hjärta så hårt. Jag var så nervös över vad som skulle hända. Men du gjorde inget, du bara gick och lade dig på din sida av sängen. Det var nästan så jag blev lite snopen, men samtidigt mycket lättad. På morgonen hade vi ett stelt samtal om vädret innan vi gick åt varsitt håll. Jag gick ner till den underbara lilla sjön och du gick någon annanstans. Den där sjön var så vacker, helt stilla och blank. Vi hade ett sommar bröllop i juli, så vattnet i sjön hade en perfekt temperatur. Det var helt omöjligt att motstå ett dopp så jag tog av mig alla kläder och hoppade i. Inte för än senare fick jag reda på att du stått och betraktat mig hela tiden.” Jag ger dig en menande blick och du ler mot mig.

”Mm, en mycket vacker syn”, instämmer du och blinkar med ena ögat. Jag smäller till dig med en ihop rullad tidning på knät innan jag fortsätter.

”De första dagarna var jag så himla nervös! Vi pratade knappt med varandra. Men på den tredje dagen gjorde du något jag aldrig kommer glömma. Du hade försvunnit på morgonen som du alltid gjorde och jag hade riktigt tråkigt. Att sitta helt ensam hela smekmånaden var inte precis vad jag tänkt mig, så jag tog en promenad. Jag kommer ihåg att jag följde en grusväg som jag aldrig gått på förut. Ett ljud gjorde mig nyfiken och jag ökade takten. Och där, bakom en björkdunge fann jag dig. Du hade en uppknäppt vit skjorta och svarta kostymbyxor på dig och jag häpnades av din skönhet. Ditt huvud vilade mot manken på en ståtlig, svart hingst. Ni stod mitt ute på en äng, helt stilla och bara njöt av varandras sällskap. Det var i den stunden du fick en lats i mitt hjärta. Men jag älskade dig inte, inte än. Jag försvann innan du märkte mig och små sprang ner mot sjön där jag satt och tänkte på dig. Det var inte för än du kom och satte dig ner bredvid mig och lade en filt kring mina axlar som jag insett att det var skymning. Vi satt sådär en stund, nära varandra, och bara njöt av den vackra utsikten. När solen försvunnit ner bakom berget gick vi sakta tillbaka mot huset. På vägen tog du min hand och jag rodnade djupt. Du sa att du tyckte det var fint. Den natten somnade vi hand i hand. Jag kommer ihåg att det kändes tryggt att ha din hand i min.” Jag tar en paus och ser på dig igen. Du har tagit fram en penna har börjat på korsordet som finns längst bak i tidningen, men jag ser på ditt ansiktsuttryck att du lyssnar.

”Dagarna efter det började vi prata lite smått med varandra. Samtalen var aldrig stela utan flöt på helt naturligt. Du fick mig att skratta så lätt och jag älskade det. Det var länge sedan jag skrattat så mycket som jag gjorde under vår smekmånad. På den tionde dagen tog du med mig stallet och visade mig den svarta hingsten jag sett tidigare. Du sa att han hette Diablo och att han varit din sedan du var femton. Vi satt i stallet en stund och jag ryktade Diablo med långa drag. Efter ett tag frågade du om jag ville rida på honom. Tveksamt tackade jag ja och du försäkrade att du skulle hjälpa mig. Vi tog inte med någon sadel när vi gick ut, vi bara tränsade honom. Ute på den gröna ängen hjälpte du mig upp på den väldiga hästen och log snett åt mig när du såg mitt krampaktiga tag kring tyglarna. Sedan gjorde du något som förvånade mig. Utan ansträngning svingade du dig upp bakom mig och satte sig nära min rygg. Försiktigt lade du dina händer kring mina och visade mig hur jag skulle styra. Din varma andedräkt smekte min nacke och mitt hjärta bultade så hårt att du borde ha hört det. Vi skrittade runt så i vad som kändes som timmar och jag njöt av varenda sekund. När du tyckte att jag var duktigt nog att styra själv lade du händerna på min midja och guidade mig enbart genom dina ord. Jag kommer ihåg att du lutade hakan mot min axel och att dina läppar var bara millimeter ifrån mitt öra när du talade. Vi red runt hela dagen och när vi skulle galoppera tog du över tyglarna och lade armarna om mig så att jag inte skulle ramla av. Med en enkel smackning fattade hingsten galopp och det ilade sådär underbart i min mage.” Jag tar en paus och ser på dig. Dina skrattrynkor blir med tydliga nu när du har ett snett leende på dina läppar. Det där leendet får mitt hjärta stanna varje gång, trots att ditt hår har tappat all sin färg och att du har tre tandproteser får du mig alltid att rodna.

”Jag kommer ihåg den dagen”, säger du och möter min blick. Jag ler och pillar på min pärlhalsband.

”Fast det var inte den dagen jag började älska dig. Den dagen kom långt senare. Vi spenderade vår smekmånad i stallet och vid sjön. För varje dag som gick blev jag mer och mer fäst vid dig. Och dagen innan vi skulle resa kysste du mig för första gången. Kyssen vi delat under bröllopet räknar jag inte, den var bara påtvingad. Men det var inte för än ett halvår senare som jag visste säkert att jag älskade dig. Du gjorde inget speciellt den dagen då jag insåg att mitt hjärta tillhörde dig, du var bara dig själv. Det var helg och du väckte mig med frukost på sängen. Som vanligt drunknade jag i dina blå ögon och ditt underbara sneda leende. Länge satt vi där på sängen och pratade som vi brukade. Du åt upp mina kanter och fick dina gurkskivor som du alltid lade på din ostmacka men aldrig åt upp. När vi satt där på sängen frågade jag dig varför du alltid tog gurka på mackan om du aldrig åt upp det. Och svaret du gav mig fick mig att inse att jag älskade dig. Jag kommer ihåg det så tydligt. Du såg på mig och sa att du tog gurka på din ostmacka för att du visste hur mycket jag älskade att äta upp dem. Då, just i den sekunden insåg jag att jag älskade dig.” Jag slutade prata och mötte din blick. Dina ögon var lika blå som vanligt och fick mitt hjärta att slå snabbare. Du tog min hand i din och smekte den rynkiga huden med tumme.

”Jag älskar dig också”, sa du. En av sköterskorna på ålderdomshemmet kom fram till oss med en bricka och ställde ner varsin tallrik på det lilla bordet mellan oss. Vi log mot varandra. Jag drog av kanterna och du tog av dina gurkskivor. Sedan bytte vi med varandra högg in på vår lunch.

”Grattis på 90 års dagen, älskling. Snart har vi varit gifta i sextio år, inte dåligt det”, sa du och höjde din kaffekopp i en skål. Jag höjde min och log.

”Nej, inte dåligt alls.” Höll jag med. ”Inte dåligt alls.” 

After a few lovely minutes in the sun we reached a huge wooden door. It looked extremely heavy, but Alec opened it with no problem at all. The door led to a fancy elevator that took us to the main floor which was so much nicer than the dark tunnels below. In a big desk a woman was seated. She was really pretty with short blond hair, tanned skin and soft blue eyes. A big smile was placed on her lips and showed of two lines of perfect white teeth. Neither Felix nor Alec paid her any attention; they just walked by without as much as a glance. I remembered my father telling me about these kinds of humans; men and women who knew about the Volturis true nature but still worked for them, hoping that someone would turn them. No one ever got turned though; they just worked for a few years before they got old or unattractive, after that they became dinner. I felt badly for the woman behind the desk, but on the other hand she’d brought it on herself. To be polite I answered the woman’s smile shyly. When she saw my smile her friendly look turned into a malignant gaze. I jumped in surprise and quickly looked away. Alec – who must have seen the woman’s look – hissed low and gave her a gaze even more cold and malignant than the one she’d given me. A part of me felt happy that he’d defended me. As soon as the thought was planted in my head I quickly pushed it away. I wasn’t just happy by the fact that I’d been defended, I was happy because it been him who’d defended me. If it had been Felix I’m sure that I would have been greatful, but not happy. Not like the way I felt right now.

The sound of voices interrupted my deep thinking and made me focus on the present. As we rounded the corner I realized that we’d walked a long way while I pondered over my sudden happiness. We’d gone from the main floor to the famous Volturi tower. Behind the corner a perfect circular room took shape. The only furniture in the room was three giant thrones dressed in deep red velvet. They were placed in the middle of the room on top of a small rising of the floor. In the three chairs Aro, Marcus and Caius sat down. Aro – who was placed in the middle chair – rose at the sight of our arrival. I’d only seen the founders of the Volturi once in my life when I was a baby and the whole guard had come to kill me and my family. They hadn’t changed much. Aros smile was still wide and kind of creepy, Marcus still looked as apathetic as usual and Caius had the same annoyed expression on his face. There were some changes though, their skin was a bit paler and looked a bit more fragile and it was harder to see their red eyes through the milky lens that covered them.

“Ah, welcome, welcome dear Renesmee!” Aro said clapping his hands in delight. The other two brothers didn’t move from their chairs, they didn’t even pay me any attention. I soon realized that Aro was the only one who had any interest in me, and since he was the leader of the Volturi his wish was the others command.  I smiled shyly and nodded in his direction. With an inhuman speed Aro walked to my side. Or walked maybe was the wrong word, floated was better. His eyes looked at me with a curious expression. The gaze didn’t feel unfriendly but somehow I still got goose bumps in his presents. When he reached out his hand to read my thoughts I quickly took a step back. I didn’t want him in my head. When I refused, strong arms grabbed me from behind, making me unable to move.

“Felix”, Aro said and clicked his tongue. The strong arms slowly released me. Once I was free I tried to control my frightened expression.

“Now, dear Renesmee, if you would be so kind”, Aro held out his hand once more, waiting for me to take it. I wondered why he didn’t just grab my hand and read my thoughts against my will, but then I realized that half the pleasure of reading someone’s mind was to make them let you do it by their own free will. Or at least the imagination of that it’s your choice. Without giving him the pleasure of seeing me surrender I took a step forward and put my hand on his cheek, using my gift to let him see my thoughts. I showed him everything of importance, every single detail, the note in my pocket, the emptiness in my heart and my longing for the sun. The last part I showed him in hope of letting me step outside.

“Ah, as fascinating as always”, Aro said when I stopped showing him my memories. I smiled a little and stepped back. Aro returned my smile and then snapped his fingers at two of the guards. They quickly moved to his side, heads down, adoring their master. I made a disgusted face and wrinkled my nose. Seeing the two vampires almost fall on their knees in adoration to their master made me sick. How could they do that? Didn’t they have any self-respect? Aro ignored my face, turning to one of the guards. I hadn’t noticed that one of them held an almost black cloak in his hands. My eyes followed the big piece of fabric as Aro took it and handed it over to me.

“Your cloak, dear”, he said. With uncertain hands I grabbed it, feeling it’s soft inside with my fingers.

“Thank you”, I whispered. Honestly, I wanted to throw it away but since that wouldn’t be polite I lay it over my arm and tried not to show my dislike. Aro looked at me for a while, his eyes sparkled with excitement. When he realized that I wasn’t going to put it on he pursed his lips and turned away. With a small hand gesture he waved us off. Felix quickly grabbed my arm and we walked out the same way as we’d come.

After walking me back to my room Felix left, leaving me to entertain myself. With a sigh I sat down on my bed with my head in my hands. The dark cloak lay beside me and I glanced at it from time to time. I felt awfully tired and dirty. My clothes were full of wrinkles and had a musty smell, my makeup was old and I didn’t even want to think about my hair. I’d inherited my grandfather’s thick curls who always manage to get tangled in one another. The only way to separate them was to wash my hair and then carefully brush them out with a comb. Looking at a piece of my hair I decided to take a shower. I didn’t get dirty a lot, thanks to my vampire genes, but I loved the water and since I was pretty sure Aro wouldn’t let me go outside and swim in the nearest lake, the shower would just have to do. I quickly stepped out of my clothes, leaving them on the floor, and then walked straight into the bathroom. The whole bathroom was white and clean. The tiles were so clean and skiny that I could see my reflection in them. Without taking a closer look at my appearance, I stepped in to the giant shower. The walls were transparent except a small line that covered everything between my shoulders and upper thigh. The actual pipe was in stainless steal with a shiny surface. It was easy to turn on the water and it quickly turned warm. Thanks to my high body temperature the water needed to be extremely hot to even feel warm against my skin. Slowly I started to rub myself with a bottle of soap which was placed on one of the shelves in the shower. It had a slight strawberry sent which made me think of my mother. Her marble skin always smelled like strawberries. A silent tear fell from my eye at the thought of my mother, and soon I sat at the shower floor, sobbing loudly and crying my eyes out. I wrapped my arms around my legs and leaned my head against them. Every thought that ran through my head hurt and I really wanted to just scream out loud, letting everyone in Volterra know about my pain.

After what felt like hours I turned off the hot water and dried myself with one of the luxurious towels. I found a hairbrush that looked really expensive and used it to brush out my curls. In the cabinets over the sink I found everything a girl could ever want; makeup with famous brands, body lotions, hair accessories, nail polish and a lot more. My mother or my aunts never used makeup, they didn’t need to. Their vampire beauty made them all look like supermodels, but for me who only were half a vampire, didn’t look as beautiful. Everyone always said that I didn’t need makeup, I were beautiful just the way was, but I liked myself better with some mascara and lip gloss. This time though, I skipped the makeup and picked out a pretty hairband. I gathered my curly hair and braided it in a lop-sided braid and secured it with the hairband. After a few turns in the mirror I walked out to find some clothes. The wardrobe was almost as huge as the bed and filled with clothes in all different sizes and shapes. With one hand holding my towel close to my body I picked out some lingerie and a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. I was just about to drop my towel when I smelled it. Vampire. With a quick turn I searched the room for the one who was here. I found him leaned against wall close to the door. He cleared his throat and raised one eyebrow.

“Do I come in an inconvenient time?” Alec said without amusement in his voice. I swallowed loudly and shook my head. But honestly, he couldn’t have come at a more inconvenient time even if he tried.

“Excuse me”, I said and almost ran towards the bathroom. Once I checked that the door was locked tight I quickly put on some clothes. The bare thought of Alec seeing me clothed in only a towel was scary but at the same time it gave be butterflies. I didn’t know why the butterflies haunted my stomach at the thought of him looking at me half naked, Alec hadn’t exactly welcomed me with open arms. He always looked so cold and serious, almost like he tried to look like Marcus. With a deep breath I pushed all the thoughts of Alec and the butterflies away, opened the door and walked out of the bathroom. Alec hadn’t moved an inch since I left him a few minutes ago. His eyes never left me as I walked across the room and sat down on the bed.

“What are you doing here, Alec?” I met his gaze, refusing to be the one who looked away first. But Alec didn’t even blink; he just looked at me with those deep, red eyes.

“Let’s just say that I’m going to be here for a while.” He said and the shadow of a smile appeared on his lips.  

Just nu har jag ingen aning om vad jag ska läsa, så istället för att läsa en bok och sedan skriva en recension på den och lägga ut på bloggen tänkte jag skriva ner mina topp tjugo absoluta favorit böcker. De kommer inte i någon speciell ordning, jag älskar dem alla lika mycket.

 

1. Twilight - Stephenie Meyer

2. New Moon - Stephenie Meyer 

3. Eclipse - Stephenie Meyer

4. breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer

5. The Host - Stephenie Meyer

6. Goodnight Mister Tom - Michelle Magorian

7. Briggen treliljor - Olle Matsson

8. Thirst, Vampire Academy - Richelle Mead

9. Skyggkysst, Vampire Academy - Richelle Mead

10. Yttersta offret,Vampire Academy - Richelle Mead

11. Bloodlines - Richelle Mead

12. The Golden lily - Richelle Mead

13. Tankeläsaren - Kommer inte ihåg författaren

14. Monstrets dotter - Samma författare som Tankeläsaren

15. Fallen - Lauren Kate

16. Dit och tillbaka igen - J.R.R Tolkien

17. Mockin Jay - Suzanne Collins

18. Catalina - Birger Sjöberg

19. The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins

20. Catching Fire - Suzanne Collins

 

Detta är mina absoluta favorit böcker! Helt omöjligt att leva utan dem! Har också blivit helt galen i Dermot Molruney, så vet ni någon film med honom är det bara att skriva dem i kommentarerna! 

Nu är det dags för ett litet boktips! Hade tänkt lägga upp det här igår, men var alldeles för trött. Men här kommer det :)

 

 

Bloodlines är en spinn-off till den berömda bestsellern Vampire Academy. Den handlar om alkemisten Sydney Sage som blir skickad på ett uppdrag som är stationerat på en skola mitt ute i öknen. Uppdraget handlar om att skydda Moroi drottningen Vasilisa Dragomirs syster ifrån alla de som är ute efter henne. Som sällskap till sitt uppdrag får Sydney dhampiren Eddie och Moroin Adrian. Sydney är uppfostrad med att vampyrer är onda, men har samtidigt skänkt sitt liv åt att skydda männskligeheten ifrån att veta om deras existens. Under månaderna på den privata skolan i öknen kommer Sydney vamyrerna väldigt nära och ser på dem som hennes vänner. Men när en annan alkemist blir inblandad hotas deras fridfulla närvaro att krossas. De högsta alkemisterna vill skicka Sydney till ett så kallat "re-education center" för att lära henne att vampyrer är onda. Men Sydney börjar inse att kärlek och lojalitet är viktigare och mer betydelsefullt än att dela samma blod. Med all sin kraft gör hon allt för att bevisa att hon kan fortsätta på detta uppdraget. Och när den nya alkemisten visar sig hålla på med riktigt skumma saker är det bara upp till Sydney att avslöja honom.

 

Personligen älskar jag boken och har den som en av mina absoluta favoritböcker. Det finns även del två och tre i denna serien och de är minst lika bra. Rekommenderar starkt denna boken till alla läsare därute! Den finns på både Engelska och Svenska, har dock bara läst den på Engelska, så hur bra den svenska versionen är vet jag inte. Framsidan är riktigt hemsk, men innehållet är tusen gånger bättre. 

 

 

Det har varit en riktigt lång dag i dag med, man kan ju säga att denna veckan inte startat på bästa sätt. Men nu är jag hemma och ska snart till stallet. Fler uppdateringar blir det ikväll

 

Puss på er

Det har varit en lång dag och jag är helt slut. Har hunnit skriva en del på nästa kapitlet till min berättelse som förhoppningsvis kommer upp den här veckan. Hade tänkt att jag ska försöka skriva klart ett kapitel i veckan och lägga ut på bloggen och på fanfiction.net. För att ni ska fortsätta vara intresserade få ni ett litet smakprov på det nya kapitlet :) 

Puss och go'natt på er 

 

 

Nu är man äntligen klar med det första kapitelt av min fanfiction roman som handlar om två av mina favorit karaktärer - Alec and Renesmee. Karaktärerna är beskrivna så som jag ser dem i mitt huvud, de ser inte precis ut som i filmen elelr boken. Ska försöka lägga upp ett kapitel i veckan om jag hinner. Men här är det första i alla fall. Ni hittar den också på fanfiction.net i morgon eller övermorgon. 

Hoppas ni tycker om det och lämna gärna en liten kommentar om vad ni tyckte om den och vad som kan förbättras 

 

Determined to get Renesmee Cullen in his possession Aro forces the Cullen family to leave their beloved Renesmee in his hands and to never make contact until he says so. But the love and bond in the Cullen coven is to strong and they refuse to leave any one behind. Sadly Aro uses the Volturi guard powers to capture the Cullen coven in a dungeon deep in the mountain beneath Volterra. Unknowing of the situation Renesmee is left with only one choice, to join the Volturi.

 The sweep sound of a refrigerator opening and closing woke me from my deep sleep. With heavy eyelids I forced my eyes open. The dark brown roof beam was the first thing I saw. First I thought that I was home in my bed, but then I saw the stone wall next to the roof beam and remembered where I was. Volterra. My eyes suddenly felt wet and a big lump fast stuck in my throat. I refused to believe that my beloved family would just leave me like this, with only a not as a good bye. No, something must have happened to them, someone must have forced them to leave me. The only question remaining was who, and why. I squeezed the little piece of paper in my hand, memorizing the words in my head. We love you. Three simple words; written in my mother’s neat handwriting. No explanation whatsoever, just three words. Feeling suddenly angry, I threw the small piece of paper across the room. I watched it sail through the air before it landed on the stone floor with a dull thud. For a second or two I felt satisfied by my act of carelessness, but then I sighed and rose to pick it up. While rising from the soft bed I noticed that I still wore the clothes I’d wore yesterday when I first arrived inside the mighty stonewalls that surrounded the small city. Standing up I yawned loudly and stretched out my tired muscles. In almost human speed I walked toward the wrinkled paper. Just as I attended to pick it up, it disappeared. With a big frown on my forehead I turn around to look for it. I smelled him before I saw him. The sweet, wonderful smell of vampire filled the room. Felix leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest and a mischievous smile on his lips. The fingers on his right hand played with a piece of paper, my piece of paper.

“Give me that” I urged and ran to his side in the blink of an eye but he was gone. A low laughter was heard from across the room and I spun around quickly. Felix was now seated in one of the chairs at the kitchen table. I balled my fists put stayed put. I couldn’t catch him, he was a vampire and I was a half breed.

“No hello?” Felix said jolly and threw the note in my direction. I quickly reached out my hand and catched it before I put it in my back pocket. I didn’t dare to answer him at first but then I realized that not answering him would seem rude, and Felix wasn’t exactly the person you were rude to. He was at least 6 feet tall and was covered with muscles. His black hair was styled in a rough haircut that covered a bit of his left eye.

“Hi”, I said in a low voice and glanced at him. Before, I’d been so obsessed with my precious note that I didn’t have time to be scared of him, but now all the fear I had come rushing to the surface. I could feel my otherwise colorful cheeks turn white and my body leaned a bit back when the large vampire rose from his chair. His white marble skin looked even paler in the weak light from the lamp in the corner.

“What do you think?” Felix did a swooping gesture with his hand around the room. “It’s the only decorated room in the castle besides the reception. Made just for you, ‘cause you’re the only one who sleeps around here.” He winked at me and took a few steps forward. I answered with taking a few steps back until I hit the hard stone wall. Felix’s smile grew bigger as he saw the fear in my face. I guess he liked the feeling of being afraid of.

“It’s nice”, I said after a moment of silence. The room was actually really nice, modern furniture in a retro style but at the same time girlish. The bed was big and filled with pillows with jade colored covers and matching cheats. Next to the bed a magnificent desk was placed, it was pure mahogany and glowed in the dim light. Across the room there was a huge bookshelf stuffed with books in any form and shape. I was secretly happy about the books; a life without books was just not worth living. Other than that the room was kind of empty – if you didn’t count the rotatable chair in front of the desk and the dining table. There were also three doors, one who led to the bathroom, one who led to the kitchen and the one I was leaned against, which led out to the deep tunnels below Volterra. I’d only been in the tunnels once, but I didn’t like them. They were wet, dark and incredibly narrow. Felix – who escorted me to my new room – didn’t seem to mind them, but I guessed he was used to them.

“What are you doing here, Felix?” I asked deeply wishing that he would leave.

“Well, I just came to…” The door behind my back creaked and opened. Sadly enough I’d leaned against it, so when it opened I lost my balance and fell. A small shriek fled my lips as a tumbled backwards – straight into the cold, hard arms of Alec, another Volturi guard. Felix tried to cover up his laughter in a fake cough, but I barley even noticed, I just stared into the deep red eyes surrounded by handsome face textures and messy black hair. For just a moment he met my eyes and gave me a cold gaze before he helped me regain my balance. Once I stood up he quickly removed his hands from my waist and shoulders. It took me a few seconds to come back to reality, and when I did Alec had already started a conversation with Felix.

“What’s taking you so long? Masters getting impatient.” The coldness and apathy in his voice gave me goose bumps and I shivered. Felix stopped smiling and looked serious. It was obvious that he had huge respect for the young man in front of me. I knew that Alec was about 1200 years old, but he looked so young, sixteen or seventeen maybe. It was actually rather fun to see the huge vampire look down at the floor, scared to meet the smaller vampires gaze. Alec was about 5.6 feet tall and had a thin but still muscular body type, but nothing compared to Felix. Still, Alec had a higher rank in the Volturi guard. The almost black cloak was a clear sign of that.

“I was just about to…” Once again Felix was interrupted by Alec.

“I don’t care what you were about to do, master waits and he’s getting impatient.” With those words he turned to me and looked me in the eye. “Aro wishes to speak with you”, he said in a cold tone. Short of words, I nodded but didn’t move. I was still unsure where we were going. Without waiting for neither Felix nor for me Alec walked out of the room and expected us to follow. Felix quickly slipped his cloak back on and gestured me to walk first into the dark tunnel. 

Något min lärare tipsade mig om här om dagen var Fanfiction. Har aldrig i hela mitt liv vetat att det fanns och nu är jag helt såld på det. Finns den här underbara historian som heter Child in red och handlar om Renesmee och Alec. Helt otrolig! Har fått lite insperation och ska börja skriva själv nu. Några tips på bra fantiction sidor? Har än så länge bara hittat www.fanfiction.net men vill gärna ha fler sidor.

 

 

 

 

Jag valde att starta denna blogg för att dela min passion för skrivning och läsning till resten av världens galna skrivare. Här kommer det komma upp lite allt möjligt som har med skrivning och läsning att göra. Feel free att kommentera och dela era erfarenheter om skrivning och lite tips på böcker och annat skoj. 

Förutom att skriva rollspelar jag också, så är du en annan rollspels intresserad människa får du mer än gärna höra av dig på [email protected] eller kolla in mig på rollregister.blogg.se